How to Stop Being a Narcissist: 10 Steps to Take

It’s rare for narcissists to question whether they’re narcissistic, as their inflated self-view often prevents them from seeing their own behaviors clearly. If you’re wondering about your own tendencies, it might actually point to a different mental health issue — but this self-reflection is a positive step towards understanding and improving your behavior.

If you think you or a loved one might be showing narcissistic traits, working with a therapist can help uncover the root causes and manage these behaviors, potentially leading to better self-perception, healthier relationships, and an overall improved quality of life.

What Is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who exhibits an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. While narcissism can be a personality trait, it becomes a disorder when these behaviors are pervasive and impair daily functioning, known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Unlike general narcissism, NPD is a diagnosable mental health condition characterized by persistent patterns of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and significant interpersonal conflicts.

Traits of a Narcissist

Grandiosity

An exaggerated sense of self-importance and superiority.

Perfectionism

Unrealistic and rigid standards for themselves and others.

Need for Admiration

A constant craving for attention and validation.

Lack of Empathy

Difficulty in understanding or caring about the feelings and needs of others.

Manipulative Behavior

Tendency to use others to achieve personal goals, often disregarding their well-being.

What Causes Narcissism?

The exact reasons behind narcissism are not fully known, but it’s thought to arise from a mix of genetic, environmental, and psychological influences. Parenting styles that either excessively pamper or criticize, genetic predispositions, and neurobiological factors affecting brain function are all potential contributors. Early childhood experiences, such as trauma or excessive praise, can also play a significant role in the development of narcissistic traits.

Subtypes of Narcissism

Narcissism can manifest in various forms, each with their own distinct characteristics. These include overt narcissism, covert narcissism, antagonistic narcissism, communal narcissism, and malignant narcissism.

Narcissistic traits can vary widely, and individuals might show a mix of these subtypes. Recognizing the specific subtype can give you valuable insights into their behavior and motivations, helping you communicate and manage interactions more effectively.

In clinical settings, pinpointing the subtype of narcissism is crucial for developing tailored therapeutic approaches. For example, overt narcissists might benefit from interventions that address their need for admiration and grandiosity, while covert narcissists could require support in building self-esteem and handling criticism.

In personal relationships, understanding the subtype can help you set boundaries and manage expectations. For instance, dealing with an antagonistic narcissist might involve strategies to reduce conflict and protect yourself from manipulative behaviors.

Lastly, in professional environments, recognizing the subtype can assist in navigating workplace dynamics. Communal narcissists, for example, may thrive in roles that allow them to showcase their perceived altruism, while malignant narcissists might need strict oversight to prevent harmful actions.

Overall, having a nuanced understanding of narcissistic subtypes can enhance your ability to interact with individuals exhibiting these traits, fostering healthier and more productive relationships.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these subtypes:

Overt Narcissism (Grandiose)

Characterized by overt displays of arrogance, entitlement, and a need for admiration. Individuals with overt, narcissism are often grandiose, seeking attention and validation from others. They may dominate conversations, exaggerate their achievements, and expect special treatment. This is the most recognizable and well-known form of narcissism.

Covert Narcissism

Marked by hidden feelings of insecurity, hypersensitivity to criticism, and introversion. Covert narcissists may appear shy or modest but harbor grandiose fantasies and a sense of entitlement. They often feel misunderstood or underappreciated and may engage in passive-aggressive behavior.

Antagonistic Narcissism

Defined by a focus on rivalry and competition, often leading to aggressive and exploitative behaviors. Antagonistic narcissists are prone to hostility, manipulation, and a lack of empathy. They view relationships as a means to assert dominance and may engage in deceitful or coercive tactics to achieve their goals.

Communal Narcissism

Involves a self-perception of being altruistic and morally superior, though often not reflected in actual behavior. Communal narcissists seek admiration through their perceived generosity and community involvement. However, their actions are typically self-serving, aiming to enhance their own status rather than genuinely helping others.

Empathetic Narcissism

Marked by a self-perception of being deeply understanding and emotionally attuned to others. Empathetic narcissists seek admiration through their perceived empathy and emotional intelligence. However, their actions often serve to reinforce their own self-image rather than genuinely connecting with others’ feelings.

Malignant Narcissism

A severe form that includes elements of sadism, aggression, and paranoia, often overlapping with antisocial personality traits. Malignant narcissists exhibit a combination of narcissistic and antisocial behaviors, such as a lack of remorse, a propensity for cruelty, and a desire to control or harm others. This subtype is considered the most dangerous and destructive.

Narcissism, or narcissistic traits, are behaviors that everyone might display occasionally, such as seeking admiration or prioritizing personal needs — and these traits can be quite normal and even healthy in moderation.

On the other hand, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a more severe and persistent condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Unlike occasional narcissistic behaviors, NPD significantly impacts a person’s relationships and daily functioning, often leading to conflicts and difficulties in various aspects of life.

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Wondering if you’re a narcissist can be a bit unsettling, but it’s important to remember that everyone exhibits narcissistic traits occasionally. According to Jeremy Arzt, a licensed MFT here at The Edge Treatment Center, it comes down to whether these traits become a pattern that disrupts your daily life:

“To determine if these traits are more pervasive, consider whether you consistently seek excessive admiration, have a grandiose sense of self-importance, and lack empathy for others. If these behaviors are persistent and significantly impact your relationships and daily life, it might be worth exploring further with a mental health professional. Self-reflection and honest assessment are key, but professional guidance can provide clarity and support if you’re concerned about narcissistic tendencies.”

Recognizing narcissistic tendencies is the first step towards positive change. By taking conscious steps and actions to improve, you can cultivate empathy, maintain healthier relationships, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling life. Here are ten steps to help you on this journey:

1. Practice Self-Awareness

Start by reflecting on your behaviors and motivations. Journaling or mindfulness exercises can help you understand your actions and their impact on others. For example, you might notice patterns in how you react to criticism or how often you dominate conversations. This self-awareness is the foundation for change.

2. Develop Empathy

Make a conscious effort to understand and share the feelings of others. Listening actively and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can foster deeper connections. Try to imagine how a friend feels when they share a problem, and respond with genuine concern and support. It’s about making that emotional connection.

3. Seek Feedback

Ask trusted friends or family members for honest feedback about your behavior. Be open to their perspectives and use their insights to grow. For instance, if a friend mentions that you often interrupt, work on letting others finish speaking before you respond. Feedback is a gift that can guide your growth.

4. Work on Humility

Acknowledge your flaws and accept that you are not perfect. Embrace humility by recognizing the strengths and contributions of others. Celebrate a colleague’s success at work or compliment a friend’s talent without feeling threatened. Humility helps you appreciate the value in everyone.

5. Set Realistic Goals

Avoid setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and others. Focus on achievable goals that promote personal growth and healthy relationships. Instead of aiming to be the best at everything, set specific, attainable objectives like improving a skill or building a new habit. Realistic goals keep you grounded and motivated.

6. Practice Gratitude

Regularly express gratitude for the people and things in your life. This practice can shift your focus from self-centeredness to appreciation. Keep a gratitude journal where you write down three things you’re thankful for each day, such as a supportive friend or a beautiful sunset. Gratitude can transform your outlook.

7. Improve Communication Skills

Learn to communicate effectively and respectfully. Practice active listening, assertiveness, and conflict resolution to enhance your interactions. For example, during a disagreement, focus on understanding the other person’s viewpoint rather than just defending your own. Good communication builds stronger relationships.

8. Engage in Altruistic Activities

Participate in activities that benefit others, such as volunteering or helping a friend in need. Acts of kindness can reduce self-centered behaviors. You might volunteer at a local shelter or offer to help a neighbor with their groceries. Helping others can bring a sense of fulfillment and connection.

9. Seek Professional Help

Consider therapy or counseling to address deep-seated issues and develop healthier patterns of behavior. A professional can provide guidance and support. Therapy can help you explore the root causes of your narcissistic tendencies and learn strategies for change. Professional help can be a game-changer.

10. Be Patient with Yourself

Change takes time and effort. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work towards becoming a more empathetic and balanced individual. Remember that setbacks are part of the process, and celebrate small victories along the way, like successfully listening without interrupting. Patience and self-compassion are key to lasting change.

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Dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly challenging, but there are effective strategies to help you manage these interactions and protect your well-being. By setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support, you can navigate these difficult relationships more smoothly. Here are some practical steps to guide you through this process:

Set Clear Boundaries

Establishing firm boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Clearly communicate your limits and be consistent in enforcing them. This helps protect your emotional well-being and prevents the narcissist from overstepping.

Don’t Take It Personally

Remember that a narcissist’s behavior is a reflection of their own issues, not your worth. Try not to take their actions or words personally. This perspective can help you stay emotionally detached and less affected by their behavior.

Practice Self-Care

Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation to maintain your mental health. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or practicing mindfulness, self-care helps you stay grounded and resilient.

Limit Exposure

If possible, reduce the amount of time you spend with the narcissist. Limiting your exposure can minimize stress and give you more control over your interactions. This might mean setting specific times for contact or avoiding certain situations.

Seek Support

Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and coping strategies tailored to your situation. Professional support can offer valuable insights and help you navigate the challenges of dealing with a narcissist.

Stay Calm and Composed

Narcissists often try to provoke reactions. Staying calm and composed can prevent them from gaining control over the situation. Practice deep breathing or other calming techniques to manage your emotions during interactions.

Focus on Facts

When communicating with a narcissist, stick to the facts and avoid getting drawn into emotional arguments. This approach can help keep conversations productive and reduce the likelihood of manipulation.

Avoid Confrontation

Direct confrontation can escalate conflicts with a narcissist. Instead, use assertive communication to express your needs and boundaries without provoking a defensive response. This can help maintain a more peaceful interaction.

Build a Support Network

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who understand your situation. A strong support network can provide emotional backing and practical advice, making it easier to cope with the challenges.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Ultimately, your mental health and well-being are the most important. Make decisions that prioritize your happiness and peace of mind, even if it means distancing yourself from the narcissist. Your well-being should always come first.

Therapy for narcissism is all about helping people build a healthier sense of self and form better relationships. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is often used to tackle negative thinking patterns and boost self-awareness. This type of therapy encourages individuals to see themselves more realistically, and understand how their actions impact those around them. It’s a journey of self-discovery that can lead to more balanced and fulfilling interactions with others.

Finding the right therapist is crucial, especially one experienced in treating narcissistic personality disorder. They can offer the support and strategies needed to foster meaningful change. Through therapy, narcissists can learn to develop empathy, improve their social skills, and ultimately enhance their overall well-being. It’s a challenging but rewarding process that can lead to significant personal growth and healthier, more satisfying relationships.

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Do you need advice about narcissism? Reach out today.

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Curious about your behavioral patterns? Our Narcissist Test isn’t an official diagnosis, but it can offer valuable insights into your tendencies and help you understand yourself better. This test can be a helpful first step in recognizing if you might benefit from professional support. Take the test to explore your patterns and consider seeking further help if needed.

Take Our Narcissist Test!

Everyone exhibits narcissistic traits from time to time, and that’s perfectly normal. However, by following these steps, you can manage these tendencies and lead a more empathetic and fulfilling life. Practicing self-awareness, developing empathy, and seeking feedback are just a few ways to start this journey.

However, if you or a loved one consistently display patterns that align with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, therapy can be a valuable resource. Professional guidance, therapy, and support can help manage these traits, leading to improved quality of life and healthier relationships.

We’ll Lead You to New Heights

Would you like more information about narcissism? Reach out today.

CALL US: 844-620-3343

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At The Edge Treatment Center, we specialize in mental health support for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We offer cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and a number of other therapeutic approaches to help you better understand your traits and build confidence. Our team of mental health professionals, along with our tight-knit community, are here to help.

Call us today to learn more and get the help you need and deserve. We’re by your side, every step of the way.

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